I don’t think it is a 3DS Max question, I’ll try importing into Blender and others and see what happens.
Here is another link back in 2019 saying the same thing.
The ONLY solution I believe is to import the obj into something like 3D Coat (which I believe does a great job of these sorts of things) and then importing into Max.
(zBrush also has a really good quad remesher I believe).